RuPaul Charles, Trixie Mattel, and Katya Zamolodchikova were invited keynote speakers to address the members of the Universal Pussy Association or UPA in Los Angeles, CA but Trixie suddenly announced at the last minute that she would be unable to attend due to a more pressing engagement. UPA is a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) which works to eliminate all terms classifying the rectum, anus, or mouth and advocates for more socially inclusive descriptions of gender anatomy. The group seeks to simply refer to the various orifices on the body as a pussy regardless of the gender assigned at birth. In this model some genders might be fortunate enough to rock three pussies, while others are limited to two barring some plastic surgery. RuPaul and Katya were surprised that their colleague would shirk attendance for UPA due to the legendary reputation of Trixie's storied pussies. Both Ru and Katya knew that something must be up to cause Trixie's dereliction of duty in performing some of her favorite charity werk.
During the meeting Katya could be seen texting with her long-term business partner Trixie which included a range of emotional reactions from excitement to terror during the fierce typing exchange. RuPaul noticed that Katya was demonstrating her tell according to poke her rules by periodically lifting her skirt and laughing nervously with a sort of energy she developed from those bathroom towels she donned as dresses as a child. Back then Katya thought that her titties visible was horrible based on seeing her mama's once and feeling extremely jealous of her tig ole bitties and praying for the day when she developed her own sacks of toys. .
Thank God she shoves them down our throat every day now and tries to cover up at least one of her pussies to protect public health RuPaul roared to the audience. If there's another pandemic we will all breath easier with Katya around. After concluding her remarks to a room literally gaping with all sorts of pussies, RuPaul pulled Katya aside to better understand where one of her most valuable products, Trixie, had disappeared to. Katya then laid out the tale for RuPaul of what had happened to Trixie Mattel one knight ago. Trixie was performing DJ services for some fun money at The Peppermint Club in West Hollywood, CA when an admirer who kept sending her drinks struck her fancy and stirred her pussies to a level of arousal she hadn't felt recently with David, David is Trixie's long term companion as if anyone reading this wouldn't know that and long term by gay standards anyway. Little did Trixie know when beholding the bearded suitor who she was dealing with in the club, but now the events after her last set were becoming all too clear.
Upon entering the nightclub earlier Santa placed his finger beside his nose in search of a suitable date. Up her chimneys I will go he thought to himself as he softly uttered a faint mating call in the same style he used to court his Mrs...Ho, Ho, Ho.
Santa was no stranger to the club scene and really knew how to turn up the house. Nobody could really say if it was snow, dust, glitter or rainbows that were floating in the Peppermint air that night but we all were breathing as deep as we could.
Santa danced with complete confidence, bravado, and his bouncing pole certainly didn't hurt...yet. Trixie couldn't take her eyes off him as his shirt hit the floor, seeming to disappear as he circled. Trixie thought Santa has a better body than David, what am I doing? I don't deserve that! And then Santa's pants were gone and it was love at first sight and yeah she deserved that pole.
Trixie's panties had laid out a strip of juice which was tickling Santa's sensitive nose like Mrs. Claus had him pinned to the bed and was working him over with that feather quill he used for making his list. Trixie's Fearomones made Santa feel like a young man again with no need for magic to help lay down pole after all these centuries.
At that moment, Trixie looked up from her turntables and locked eyes with the captivating Santa wearing a suitable disguise. Trixie looked at the man with a certain familiarity like most people felt if they came into the presence of Brian. Trixie smiled at Santa as if her soul was suddenly lightened like a child on Christmas morning seeing all the presents that Santa had brought her.
Santa often traveled when Mrs. Claus was out of town to visit her family. West Hollywood was one of his favorite stops where he periodically sought some fresh or at least serviceable pussy according to UPA standards. There was plenty of sugar in Santa's candy cane tonight and looking at the dark lines painted below Trixie's eyes made Santa dream of what he'd like to do to Mrs. Claus if he could get her in the mood for Mary making. Trixie fit the bill on all accounts as Santa mentally made his list and checked her out twice. He was trying to figure out if he was in the mood to be naughty or nice with his new love her.
Trixie was literally swept off her feet by Santa Claus aka St. Nicholas aka Father Christmas who deposited the tipsy Trixie who never turned down a free drink to save her soul into his sleigh with the gentlest of care. Fortunately Santa had outfitted his modest about town beater sleigh with three Reindeer for the LA excursion which could luckily accommodate both Santa's and Trixie's weight for their upcoming long journey to Santa's North Pole and adjacent toy factory. Santa needed to buy Mrs. Claus a Christmas gift which was why he added the reindeer because after centuries she was sick and tired of his shitty homemade gifts. It would be a shame if Trixie had to be ejected from an overloaded sleigh with inadequate reindeer power for carrying two very large men. If its Santa or you...its gonna be YOU!, RuPaul's and Trixie's first duet single available on iTunes.
RuPaul and Katya pulled they (sic their) whore bags out of their trunks after arriving in the parking lot at LAX. It was December 23rd and there wasn't much time left. They boarded their flight to Vancouver where they got some werk done before journeying to their next stop and touching down in Anchorage.
British Columbia was beautiful and smelled like somewhere far more naturally unnatural than LA. Mrs. Claus was hanging at the pool despite the fact that it was winter and she was basking in the warm weather compared to her usual digs while cursing her husband under her breath. She had endured plenty of hard candy Christmases growing up but life at the North Pole was driving her plum crazy in despite her relative security and familiar routine. She wanted human women to hang out with and fuck rather than those silly elves hanging out from every shelf in her workshop/home. Elves far preferred playing with toys and Mrs. Claus was tired of the splinters in her pussies from Santa's cheap homemade toys. She even liked riding Donner bareback and naked from time to time to spice up her life. Santa didn't seem himself these days either and was growing distracted. Perhaps they were just growing apart or maybe Santa needed to see himself in a young girl's eyes again. Fuck him Mrs. Claus thought, I take his factory and his little sleigh too, ha ha ha ha.
RuPaul was familiar with the plight of Mrs. Claus and was ready to offer some off the shelf spiritual advice to return the twinkle to her eyes. Katya also knew a thing or two about being number two and how some clear pipes were the clarion call for setting a girl's curls and updo for a fresh perspective on dealing pussy magic. Hello girls Mrs. Claus said, you're looking fierce and to what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from two pussy magnates such as yourselves? Girrll, we are getting reports that production has slowed to a trickle at Santa's toy factory and quotas for the billions of children are only a few days away depending on their time zones. What! I leave for a few days and suddenly his lazy mother fucking ass decides to take a break as well. Can I borrow your phone? Katya immediately supplied her phone to Mrs. Claus while being careful that Trixie's discussion of Santa's mad skills was removed from the screen. Mrs. Claus asked Siri to dial the number and she had a serious tone in her voice like a person feed up but underfed at the same time. The phone rang and rang until the sweet sound of Mrs. Claus like some glorified secretary filled the speaker with her away message. He isn't picking up I see, and neither are the elves. I guess I should be concerned but I'm not wrecking my southern vacation this time to get him focused on his werk!
RuPaul and Katya gave each other sidelong glances and decided if they were up to the challenge without the help of the Mrs.. Katya realized that fucking an elf was on her bucket list among several other arctic creatures and the idea of joyriding a reindeer might be fun, particularly one with red nose that matched her carefully crafted outfit for acting out the fantasy scene. RuPaul just smiled as she thought about all the rumors going around Hollywood about the size of Santa's pole and how she wasn't past the point in her life where she was up for a pole dance even if just the tip was all her delicate tight pussy could handle during her recent dry spell. We've got you covered Mrs. Claus said Ru. Katya and I will figure out who uhhh what's wrong with Santa and make sure that he has all the toys ready to deliver to the children. Thank you ladies, if you need shackles to keep Santa on track you'll find them in the top drawer of my nightstand.
RuPaul wondered what else she might find of interest at the Claus's and looked forward to digging through some drawers, especially Santa's. So off they went back to the airport chauffeured by an elf that Mrs. Claus brought with her on the vacation for protection and amusement. They boarded the plane and the wet spots in their panties froze instantly in the arctic climate when they caught sight of the pilot. The frozen patches felt like coins in their panties for safe keeping...just like the olden days werking the streets in winter. The flight was uneventful beyond Rupaul distracting the Stewardess while Katya stocked up for the next leg of the journey with food and beverages from the flight attendants cart. She knew she needed some alcohol to wake up Trixie and remind her of her old boring life with David the Innkeeper somewhere far away from the cold and Santa's warm embrace.
From Anchorage the dynamic drag duo needed to secure transport and a blizzard was mounting the horizon. Katya was getting intermittent texts from Trixie all the while that she was in love and that she had never felt it this deep. Based on the interrupted cellular signals due to periodic coverage outages in Alaska Katya couldn't make out if Trixie was referring to Santa or his formidable pole laying waste to Trixies biggest and most overused pussy next to the pussy she loved stuffing with food. Part of the fun of UPA is trying to determine which pussy people are talking about which keeps advocates on their toes and helps make all people better listeners. Thinking of Santa's dick made Katya pull up her skirt and laugh nervously wondering if she could be a good girl for Santa too. There really is nothing like playing second fiddle without the fiddle to Trixie Mattel and Katya wanted Trixie back anxious, stressed and calling the shots as per usual as soon as possible.
An Elon Muskie dealership came into view which rented the latest thing in sustainable transport by adding a low cost sleigh chassis to age old magic carpet technology and producing zero emissions except of course for the strange fish odor that Elon insisted be sprayed into the sleighs as a new vehicle scent. At least it wasn't Elon's actual scent RuPaul thought as she recalled the smell of Elon's balls the last time she ate his ass at a party. RuPaul and Katya had to decide among the limited inventory available which carpet best matched their outfits for the journey. They decided on a beige number that had been supercharged and went from 0 to 500 miles and hour in the blink of an eye. They boarded their new vehicle and decided to give the bill to Trixie once she was back in their clutches for causing so much global chaos and threatening Christmas. As a courtesy, Katya texted the receipt to Trixie for prompt payment.
Off they went but approximately halfway to the North Pole according to the GPS the brand new Muskie started running out of magical gas or some such shit and they desperately looked for a clearing to set down and hopefully find a magician to recharge the rugs batteries that didn't quite promise the range that they had been told by the salesman.
A rainbow broke the clouds on the horizon and they steered toward it and hoped that they would land in one piece. The landing was rough like most nights for RuPaul and Katya and certainly didn't make either worse for wear in either a physical or fashion sense. Trixie can be thankful that she has such warriors looking out for her. They beheld a miraculous sight when they opened the full pussies containing their eyes. RuPaul and Katya had discovered the Land of the Snow Bunnies. The Snow Bunnies were afraid at first because they hated Russians and had never seen drag queens prepossessed with such glamorous clothing, hair, makeup and transport in their neck of the woods.
RuPaul was on it in her usual style of putting the village at ease while still maintaining control of the situation. Come closer little Snow Bunnies, we aren't going to hurt you. Our magic carpet needs a charge can you please help my friend and I? My name is RuPaul and this is Katya. The Snowbunnies scurried backward from Katya as RuPaul assured them that she wasn't really Russian she just liked to appropriate their culture, traditions, and heritage for marketing purposes. On that revelation, the Snowbunnies were eager to help these drag queens. Some magic spirit was cooked in the traditional style and applied to the carpet which gleamed from the fresh charge. The leader of the Snow Bunnies inquired where the two were heading.
A business partner of ours has escaped to the North Pole and thinks that she's in love with Santa Claus. We need to bring her home to her boyfriend and budding empire before she makes a big mistake that even Santa's magic can't fix with our owners. Ho ho ho, that's the old fool's mantra and other than his Mrs. he is notorious for traveling down chimney after chimney then moving on to the next conquest after all the treats have been consumed. Santa will dump your friend as soon as he has gotten his fill of what she has to offer.
Katya chimed in that Trixie had many Moving Parts comprising her gifted pussies and plenty to offer which could extend the lurid affair past the deadline of the 24th so regardless of the Snow Bunny's predictions the time to act was now. RuPaul and Katya mused that obviously there is plenty of Santa's pole to go around for everyone and Trixie was neither a chosen or permanent fixture in their minds or at Worlds of Wonder. After recent events the next big World of Wonder show might star the recently formed action heroines RuPaul and Katya if Trixie didn't get her shit together quickly. Katya had been through so much in her life that she always had an exit strategy at the ready. RuPaul's brand umbrella would cover the planet from any inclement competitors by the time she was finished so she didn't have a care in the world beyond the occasional need to adjudicate her girrlls.
The Snow Bunnies were all to familiar with the road to the North Pole and offered to tag along with Trixie and Katya and help in any way they could. The group set out toward Santa's workshop after they explored the Snow Bunny village and became better acquainted.
The last leg of the trip was relatively uneventful as Santa and Mrs. Claus' compound came into sight. Everything seemed quite normal with smoke billowing from the chimneys and lights on throughout the buildings until they reached the front door which was open and some snow had accumulated at the entrance. That is strange as RuPaul knocked on the open door and beckoned if anyone was at home. One of the Snow Bunnies stated the combination of snow and an opening was an invitation to come inside in these parts. Trixie, Katya and the retinue of Snow Bunnies ventured inside but it appeared that no one was home.
Next they proceeded to Santa's workshop where the windows were clearly steamed up from the inside and they could hear the faint sound of music which grew louder as they approached finally becoming a pulsing beat. When the group reached the door again they knocked and this time a half dressed elf opened the door thinking additional revelers had come to join the party.
The scene reminded RuPaul of her more transient days with people engaging in every make and measure of party-time enhancements. And then they saw them in the center of the room caught in a passionate embrace. Trixie and Santa were clearly preoccupied and Katya said loudly, Trixie I'm here and so is RuPaul...we've come to figure out why toy quotas aren't being met with Christmas fast approaching and you my dear need to get back home to David. RuPaul looked on in curiosity and silence as she often did before guiding her team in a direct manner.
Trixie looked at the group and said look everyone the more the Mary--er as she pointed to a table filled with party favors. Lighten up Katya, its great to see you too Mama Ru, who are your little friends who have come to join the party?
RuPaul steeled herself for a suitable Wake Up reply to Katya. They are the Snow Bunnies who live up the road some distance from here who helped Katya and I find your sorry ass. Both you and Santa got werk to do, yours in LA and his here so get dressed we'll hope the Muskie makes it to Anchorage without having to throw you overboard on our long journey home.
Mama, I'm in love with Santa who has decided to leave his wife of many centuries partly due to my pussy power which makes me feel good, I'm not bragging or anything, but also because we belong together and truly love each other. We both love dolls and so many other toys, we just have so much in common.
Ru said That's funny Trixie because we ran into Mrs. Claus on our trip to bring your sad pussies home and the rest of you too if it makes it Mrs. Claus playing this time with Santa. If you saw the bitches that assembled in Mrs. Claus hotel ballroom for a week of eating pussy and way too much talk in between. She's ready to take over the business and everything in it after a week of female empowerment sessions. Do you want to develop the reputation of a magical being homewrecker? And what about David?
Trixie mused, David and Santa will get along fine we've already talked about it. Santa is going to move in with us in LA and we'll be a thruple. Santa doesn't like just dealing pole and his versatility will suit David just fine and give my holes time to rest when I'm on the road.
RuPaul stated matter of factly. OK, Trixie we want you to be happy so come with us and let Santa focus on making and delivering his toys and as soon as the holiday is over he can settle with Mrs. Claus and move in with you and David. I am no bitch who will stand in the way of true love.
Katya was less kind in her assessment of Trixie's plan. What next Trixie, are you going to farm out Santa to the community or form a commune?
Trixie replied tersely, Jealous?
Katya seethed, I would never be tired like your drunken ass, but settling down with an old fat bald guy with a big dick and the occasional penchant for getting fucked and who loves having his ass eaten for hours that's my territory girlie so, HELL YES I'M JEALOUS!!!!!
Katya my dear sister. I've told Santa about you and what a fucking slut you are who will throw yourself at him anytime I turn my back. I also told him it was O.K. for him to mercy fuck you and eventually you'd move on like you always do to the next hard luck case.
And I thought I was hateful Katya said crestfallen. RuPaul replied Yeah, I have always taken you as the hateful one too Katya. I guess this one is blessed with the need to protect her mates from competitors. Even Mama Ru do that henny.
Katya faked confidence by standing tall holding the hem of her skirt and lifting it 12 inches. Clearly this is a losing battle but Santa I look forward to eating your asshole, sucking your dick, fucking and getting fucked by you, kissing for hours on end, holding each other in our arms all night, smiling at each other in the morning with naturally fresh breath, stir the engines again with our hands or our mouths sixty nine style and fuck some more and if you try get up I will tie you down to the bed and start you on a diet of intermittent fasting, and show you all of my favorite movies and serve you food without condiments just like our protection in the bedroom and I will try to keep you forever. Yeah I look forward to that. See you soon in LA Santa, call me!
Trixie looked at Katya and uttered only one word with great meaning between them in expressing emotion....Bitch, they said in unison. And they both laughed and started planning their comebacks for next time.
RuPaul was getting eager to leave after she had Santa safely back to work. You two go out and sit in the Muskie and I'll be out in a few minutes. There is something I gotta tell Santa that Mrs. Claus told me and I swore that I'd keep it a secret until the day I die.
They both looked at one another and knew that they were being dismissed by RuPaul and they weren't fucking with her based on the temper of their current conversations. Off they went and finally RuPaul and Santa were on their own.
How you been Santa? How's that big dick of yours?
Ho ho ho Ru, god I've missed you and that tight delicate sensitive pussy of yours that looks smells tastes sounds and feels so right.
RuPaul coyly replied, I was so excited to learn that the kidnapping was successful and your sleigh made it all the way with Trixie's fat ass in it.
Santa retorted, I keep plenty of flour on hand for these types of girls Ru to easily identify their pussy parts and by the end of our time together she'll be fully breaded.
I hope so Santa I hope so. Anyhow you got time for a quick fuck? Maybe they'll freeze solid sitting in the open sleigh and you and I could get the fuck out of here after Christmas. All the toys are done for this year, right?
Yes, Ru your plan worked perfectly.
It'll be nice to have you nearby and we'll be careful to not draw too much attention to our relationship since we are both magical beings. You living with Trixie and David is just the distraction we need to maintain our magical FWB relationship.
Santa agreed with a larger than normal twinkle in his eye as he pulled out his dick and RuPaul reeled around like the glorious filly that she isn't waiting for the dam to break. Her ass was like looking into a coi pond without a school of fish swimming in it, it was so beautiful.
The lines around RuPaul's anus after some experimental bleaching was a drag show on its own and Santa licked his chops salivating at the multiple layers of intricate beefy curtains defining Ru's pussy like the entrance to a great theater of old. Hound Dog by Elvis was playing on the jukebox as Santa laid down some dance moves as he approached. My candy cane's daddy is home he whispered into Ru's ear as he popped the red helmet of his favorite 12 inch soldier into her pussy. Santa did her Tina Turner style for this occasion and RuPaul was rolling in a river of pussy juice and Santa's precum. It was a veritable feast and they liked Katya's script from earlier so thought they'd rehearse a few scenes at least until the falling asleep in each others arms part.
After legendary simultaneous orgasms directly proportional to their attraction for each other and long period between their last meeting RuPaul asked, I wonder what those two are doing out there in this cold? Should I check on them? No Santa I want to keep this rehearsal going it is way better than any of my other shows rehearsals. It takes a village to fill RuPaul's pit and Santa is the entire crew in one sweet magical man. I'll send Michelle your regards Santa cause I know that bitch would like to hook up with you soon too. I'm going to blow whatever you put in my pussy onto this handkerchief ho ho ho and then clean up my pussy with it ho ho ho and then put it in a nice little box and send it to her to remind that Santa's coming...werk!
RuPaul looked up to the left with both eyes as she reflected, Michelle will probably suck on that handkerchief for a week or longer...friends!
RuPaul got up and dressed quickly making her way to the Muskie when she realized that not only were Katya and Trixie gone but so was the magic carpet. They had rolled themselves up in it and directed it toward Anchorage. She was left with a Muskie Sleigh with no propulsion capabilities. Trixie and Katya decided to take RuPaul's plane back to LA from Anchorage that fucking bitch who left them outside in the cold to freeze to death so that she could kiki with Santa!
RuPaul screamed at the top of her lungs. Santa, hitch up the sleigh we heading to LA to greet those thieving bitches. They stole my rug and I ain't talking about one of my wigs! And then RuPaul got a text from Trixie, Yo Mama, bill paid via Venmo bitch, this is my magic carpet now! RuPaul smashed her phone suddenly realizing that was a really dumb and immature thing to do as she wished it was Trixie's pussy in her grip. I guess Santa had an effect on her when she was with him like clouding her judgement. All she could think about at the present moment was raising a clatter while trying several sexual positions in the open sleigh as they flew to LA.
Mama Ru, always looking on the bright side. RuPaul closed her curtains and prepared herself for the next show on a Santa ride back to LA.
The End
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